“When the Lord first spoke through Hosea, the Lord said to Hosea, “Go, take to yourself a wife of whoredom and have children of whoredom, for the land commits great whoredom by forsaking the Lord.” So he went and took Gomer, the daughter of Diblaim, and she conceived and bore him a son.” (Hosea 1:2-3 ESV)

I recently read this in my Bible reading plan, and I was shocked. I know I have read this passage before, but this time around, I found myself confused and running through a series of questions with God as I kept reading.

Why would God send one of His prophets to marry a prostitute? Why would He tell Hosea to build a family with a woman who would be unfaithful to him? Why would God ask His prophet to experience something that would cause so much pain?

I was honestly struggling to understand why God would tell Hosea to do such a thing. But as I continued reading, I began to see something beautiful about the way God prepares the hearts of His people.

In Hosea 1, the Lord tells Hosea to marry Gomer, and Hosea obeys. Later, in Hosea 3, the Lord tells him to love his wife again and buy her back. Hosea experienced firsthand the heartbreak of loving an unfaithful wife and being called to pursue her again.

Hosea's marriage wasn't simply a message he was told to preach—it became a message he experienced.

Through Hosea's story, God gave him a firsthand glimpse of His heartbreak over Israel's unfaithfulness. Hosea didn't simply speak about God's heart; his own life gave him a deeper understanding of the heart of the God he was called to represent.

As I thought about this, I began wondering how the Lord is preparing my own heart for this next season.

Later that day, I went on a run. Towards the end of my run, I started experiencing extremely sharp pain in my stomach. I was forced to stop and wasn't sure how I would make it home because the pain didn't seem like it was going to go away. I ended up crouching down and placing both hands on the ground to steady myself. When I managed to stand up again, I placed my hand on the lower part of my stomach where the pain was and immediately thought of pregnancy.

Now, this is something I desire, but I am nowhere near that season of life, so it struck me as odd that this was the picture that came to mind in the middle of what I was experiencing.

After a while, I was able to start walking back to my house, and the pain slowly went away. But as I reached a corner, I turned back to look at the sunset, and I felt the Lord remind me of Hosea—that Hosea experienced firsthand the words he was going to carry to God's people through his marriage.

And I am not saying that the pain I experienced was anything like carrying a child. But in that moment, I felt the Lord using something physical and unfamiliar to give me a small picture of what it means to experience something rather than simply know about it. It felt like a way for Him to open my eyes to some of what He may be preparing me to encounter in ministry overseas.

But more than anything, the experience reminded me that God can meet us in the moments we don't understand. He doesn't always prepare us by showing us where we are going. Sometimes He prepares us by drawing us deeper into His presence.

Since I have been back in America, I have truly felt the Lord preparing my heart in intentional ways as I get ready to spend the next year traveling with Him. He has given me words for my teammates, and there have been moments when I have felt Him giving me glimpses of what may be ahead. My experience on that run felt like one of those moments. But more importantly, through all of this, I am encountering more of who He is.

I don't always understand how these experiences will fit into what He is doing, but I am learning to trust that He is preparing me for whatever He will ask me to carry as I partner with Him in the work He is already doing overseas.

Hosea reminds me that God cares deeply about the hearts of those He calls. He was not simply giving Hosea words to speak; He was revealing His own heart through Hosea's story. Hosea's experience shaped his heart and gave him a deeper understanding of the message he was called to carry.

Maybe the Lord is doing something similar in you.

Maybe God is using the seasons of pain you've walked through to shape your heart in ways you don't yet understand. Maybe the grief and loneliness you're experiencing will one day allow you to sit beside someone going through the same thing and speak from a place of understanding. Maybe the season you are desperately trying to get through is also a season in which God is drawing you closer to Himself and shaping your heart for whatever He may ask you to carry later.

We may not always understand the preparation, but we can trust the One who is preparing us.

The God I serve is a big God who can do immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine. He is not distant from us in our circumstances. He is near. He knows our hearts, our pain, our questions, and our stories. And even when we cannot see what He is doing, we can trust that He is with us and that He is shaping us as we walk with Him.

So my prayer for this next season is not simply that God would give me the right words to speak or the right places to go. My prayer is that He would prepare my heart—not simply by showing me what is ahead, but by drawing me near to Him. Near is the word I felt Him give me for this season, and I think I am beginning to understand why. I want to continue learning to hear His voice, break my heart for what breaks His, and become someone who can boldly testify to who He is.

Just as Hosea's life became part of the message God gave him to carry, I pray that my life would continue to be a testimony of His faithfulness—that when He sends me, I would not simply speak about who He is, but speak from a heart that has encountered Him.

Because sometimes God doesn't prepare us by telling us everything we need to know.

Sometimes the greatest preparation is being drawn near to Him and learning to remain in His presence.

Prayer Requests:

• That my team and I would keep our eyes fixed on Jesus and remain unified in the Spirit every step of the way throughout this journey.

• That we would seek to see and understand each culture through Jesus' eyes, asking Him to show us how to love and minister to each people group in ways that are appropriate, humble, and honoring.

• That our training camp, beginning August 28, would be fruitful and empowering, preparing us spiritually, physically, and practically before we set out for our first country.

• That my team and I would daily put on the armor of God and remain rooted in His Word and His presence as we navigate the spiritual warfare we have already been experiencing.

• That every person on our team would be fully funded by the deadline. Three of the 26 are already fully funded—praise the Lord! Pray that He would faithfully provide for each person as we trust Him with the rest.